


No More Heroes

by monsterslut13



Series: Into the breach [4]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 10:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15555750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterslut13/pseuds/monsterslut13
Summary: As if dealing with the events of Adamant Fortress weren’t enough, the Inquisitor and his friends go walking through the Fade, Riva regains his memories of the Conclave and is forced to leave a man behind. The sacrifice of war plays on his mind but none of that compares to having to keep a certain elf from killing Dorian





	No More Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as something completely different but here you go...
> 
> I have no beta so all the mistakes are mine...

_No more heroes left to save you_

_Just the keepers of the bleeding sun_

_When the sky above us fell_

_We descended into hell_

 

_[ https://youtu.be/0TIO4IHLNZw ](https://youtu.be/0TIO4IHLNZw)   _

 

The events at Adamant Fortress had left Riva drained mentally and emotionally. He’d left Skyhold behind with his lover and his sister a little over eight weeks ago, an army to follow him under the command of Cullen in order to put a stop to the Venatori manipulation of the Grey Wardens. When the archdemon showed up things went sideways the only way they knew how, the Inquisitor went tumbling into the Fade with a ragtag bunch group of warriors, one of whom he was forced to leave behind. Riva was going to suffer for that for a long time to come, another life lost in the war against Corypheus.But at least he had his memories back, that was something to celebrate. Right?

 

Their arrival back at Skyhold was met with a magnificent fanfare, everyone in the fortress was there to watch them in their glorious return. The Inquisitor and the Champion of Kirkwall at the head of the returning soldiers - neither of them felt very glorious at that moment. Riva politely spoke to the stable hand as he handed Stardust’s reigns over to him, the teenager earning himself a couple of gold coins for helping him slip out the back and through the kitchens. He should probably tell Dorian that he was back but for some reason, Riva could even make himself send a note with one of the servants.

 

His memories were all jumbled up, they were a mess but one thing was clear; this whole thing was one big accident. Riva had accidentally stumbled upon Corypheus as he tried to sacrifice Divine Justinia, he’d picked up the Orb in a moment of stupidity and then...than he’d lost the Divine when the Nightmare dragged her away, just as he’d lost Stroud. Only six people knew, Cassandra didn’t want it to get out, she said the people needed faith, they needed someone to believe in. He was the Herald of Andraste, a Dalish Elf was their saviour and it was all an accident. The rest, as they say, is history.

 

His footsteps echoed off the stone walls as he trudged through the corridor, taking off parts of his armour and leaving them where they fell; Riva didn’t care, someone would bring it to his chambers sooner or later. The elf dropped his bow on the ground, the weapon was a gift from Dagna and Iron Bull, made from a dragon and with a corrupting rune etched into the surface of the bone, followed by his quiver. He was leaving a mess behind him and it was the last thing on his mind. Eventually Riva made it to his chambers where he headed inside and practically flopped face first in the bed, the stitches on his back pulling from from the demon claw marks in his flesh. He hadn’t escaped unscathed mentally or physically from the Fade. When the healers had offered to heal him, Riva refused, opting for stitches, he needed to feel this pain. It was his reminder.

 

Riva turned his head sideways when realized that he could no longer breath with his face smothered into the mattress. He stared at the anchor on his hand, taking careful note of the green veins that flooded out from the mark that was never even his to begin with. The situation was so laughable but he really couldn’t help but feel sorry from himself. How else was he supposed to feel?

 

“ _Halam'shivanas_ ,” Riva sighed, closing his eyes again. He should call for a servant, get a hot bath to soak in and wash away the grime from the last few weeks, but his mind was giving orders that his body couldn’t follow.

 

The elf must have drifted off because the next thing he felt was a soft touch on his back, something cool was being applied to his wounds. Riva stirred and tried to look back, out the corner of his eye he could see a flash of gold and the familiar smell of ash and spiced wine flooded over him. “Vhenan?”

 

Dorian was quiet. He applied the salve gently, careful not to hurt him or touch the stitches. “I’m not talking to you,” he told him, his tone quiet, not cold but full of emotion.

 

“Oh?” Riva asked him. “And why is that?”

 

“If I were talking to you, I’d ask you what in the name of sanity were you doing going for a stroll through the Fade but you’re not one to really plan ahead on things like that, are you?” Dorian finished his task and wiped his hands on a cloth before closing the jar he was using. “I nearly lost you amatus, and you sneak in without so much a note from a servant, you leave your clothes and armour all over the corridor outside your chambers and you’re wounded!”

 

Riva could have sworn he heard tears in the mage’s voice as it hitched in the back of his throat. He sat up, ignoring the pain as it slowly ebbed away underneath the elfroot salve. “I-I’m sorry Dorian.” Truthfully, the elf had toyed with taking him along to Adamant Fortress but instead he’d chosen to take Solas, Dorian wasn’t too happy with being left behind but he relented eventually.

 

“Dammit Riva,” Dorian sighed, letting the elf settle into his arms as comfortably as he could. “Are you alright?”

 

Riva shook his head. “No. I’m not...when we fell through the Fade, all I could think of was that it was it, my time had come and the gods were calling me back. I was going to die in the Fade with Solas having a grand old time, Cassandra arguing with Varric and the Champion of Kirkwall probably hating me alongside his Grey Warden friend.” He looked up at Dorian, studying the man’s features closely. “I-I had to chose. Both Stroud and Hawke offered to stay behind, fight off the Nightmare. I didn’t want to choose Dorian. Why did they make me the leader of the Inquisition? I hate this. I hate it when people are so willing to die for me.” The elf sucked in a deep breath and started telling Dorian everything that happened from the moment they’d left Skyhold, by the time he was done, the sun was starting to set and Riva’s stomach was making not so subtle growling noises.

 

“Are you hungry?” Dorian queried.

 

“No.” Riva curled his hand around a chunk of Dorian’s robes to stop him from moving. “I just want to lay here with you. I know Cassandra and Cullen will want to discuss what happens next, namely stopping the assassination of Empress Celene...I just want time to process what happened with the Wardens, not to mention they want me to decide what happens to them.”

 

“You need to eat amatus,” Dorian instructed. “And I can only keep your sister away for so long before she becomes a demanding demon herself. You missed it Riva. She was about to do something to Cassandra before Cullen pulled her away, it was most entertaining. She still doesn’t like me though.”

 

Riva sighed and withdrew from Dorian’s arms. “Fine. I’ll have something to eat. On the way down, can you send her up and maybe get some of the servants to draw me a bath? Then come back and make sure I don’t drown or something.”

 

Dorian kissed his forehead gently and nodded. “We couldn’t have your pretty head drown could we?” he chuckled.

 

The elf lay on his side, watching Dorian as he left the room. Riva sighed and rolled carefully so that he was looking at the open door out onto his balcony. Tomorrow he was sure that the plans of his inner circle would flare up again, for now, Riva just wanted to stare out at the sky.

 

* * *

 

Riva woke at the crack of dawn the following morning, a scream stuck in the back of his throat and his body coated in a fine layer of sweat. Dorian was sleeping soundly across from him looking like he didn't have a care in the world to bother him. The elf resented him for just a split second, the thought itself was enough to make Riva drag himself carefully out of bed and dress in some light clothing. He slipped out of his chambers, his bare feet not even making a sound as he ventured through the main hall, signs of life already showing this early in the morning.

 

“Good morning Inquisitor!” The man’s name was Bradley and he supervised all the kitchen staff in Skyhold, there was always a smile on his face and he had taken up learning about Dalish cooking just for Riva so he didn't miss out on a good meal once every so often. “Early morning?”

 

“Always,” Riva answered, leaning against a bench. He eyed the buns just fresh out of the oven and grinned when Bradley threw one to him. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

 

“Where you off to this time of morning?” the man asked, dashing about the large kitchen between the servants.

 

“To see if Cullen is awake,” Riva answered. “Would it be too much to ask if I got some breakfast delivered? I don’t exactly want to eat with everyone today. I can just imagine the questions I’m gonna get asked by everyone about Adamant. I think I might just shadow Cullen today and see what kind of stuff he gets up to. Thanks for the roll Bradley.” The elf waved at him and headed out the back door that lead down the steps and out to the stables. Blackwell was already up and chopping wood, it made Riva wonder if he actually needed the wood or if it was just some form of training.

 

When he got to Cullen’s office and slipped inside, the man was standing behind his desk staring out the window, not even noticing the elf until he cleared his throat. “Inquisitor!” He practically jumped in the spot when he realized that he wasn’t alone. “What are you doing here?”

 

Riva sat down in the chair in front of his desk and chewed on his bread roll. “Thought I would come and see how the troops are doing now that they're all back from Adamant. Maybe see if there's anything I can do to assist you in the effort.” He plopped a bit of bread in his mouth and picked up a report off the desk, cringing when he saw that it was a report for the list of men killed in battle. Riva preyed to Mythal that Cullen didn't see it...but sometimes Mythal was not that kind.

 

“You're worried about the dead, aren't you?” The words stung more than any demon ever did. Cullen sat in his chair and studied Riva, “not that I can blame you. Sometimes I find myself looking at them like they're just numbers. Not people. It's something I tell myself to make the choices easier. But it still haunts me.”

 

“Do you ever get over it?” Riva asked him. “Questioning the choices you make I mean. I lead those soldiers to Adamant, I was the one who fell through the Fade. I left Stroud behind. It's all on me because of one stupid mistake. _Kaffas._ ”

 

“You’re starting to sound like Dorian,” Cullen joked. He sat back in his seat with a resigned sigh. “I never would have imagined that you and I would be here in this position back when the Divine was killed. I will confess, I thought you just as guilty as Cassandra did, maybe even more so. But now it is hard to think of anything but the Inquisition and you leading it. Even if you question it yourself.”

 

“You’re not really making me feel better,” Riva told him. “But I get what you’re saying. I find it hard to think of what life would be like if I were not here, not...the Herald of Andraste.” He sat the report back on the desk and sighed, “I will make arrangements with Josephine to see that any family of the dead are compensated well. I know it is not going to bring them back but it is something.” The elf got to his feet, “and now I need to figure out what I’m going to do with the wardens.”

 

“Might I suggest speaking with Hawke?” Cullen answered as there was a knock on the door. Enter,” he called out. The commander arched an eyebrow when he saw one of the kitchen staff come in holding a tray in his hands. “What’s all this?”

 

“Oh I thought breakfast would do some good, so help yourself,” Riva told him, waving back as he walked out the door. He popped the last of the roll into his mouth and chewed as he walked, deciding to do a lap of the ramparts and check out the mage tower that they’d built during his absence. The Inquisitor didn’t seem to be the only one with a need to seek out some quiet time, when he went inside the tower, Hawke was sitting in one of the chairs flicking through a pile of books and looking like he hadn’t slept in days. “The two of us certainly make a pair don’t we?” Riva chuckled, sitting in a chair across from him.

 

Hawke glanced over and took his attention off the book. “Good morning Inquisitor. Sleep well last night?”

 

“Better with Dorian,” he shrugged.

 

“But you still get nightmares?” the champion asked him, earning a nod from the young elf. Hawke sighed. “It’s not easy, this hero business. Is it?”

 

“It isn’t,” Riva sighed. He rubbed his neck and sank back into the chair, “how do you do it?” he asked, hating how he sounded like a complete and total child. “Get past the nightmares? The people always asking for your help? Knowing that everyone relies on you?”

 

Hawke snapped his book shut and lent forward. “Truthfully? I don’t. But I have friends who help me as best they can but over the years it took me a really long time to understand that I don’t have to carry this alone. Fen-”

 

“Inquisitor! Sir! There’s a pressing matter at the front entrance that needs your attention sir!” Their conversation was interrupted by the appearance of one of Cullen’s soldiers who looked flustered.

 

Both Hawke and Riva looked up from where they were sitting, eyebrows arched in question at the soldier’s presence. The elf got to his feet and brushed his hands off, the conversation with Hawke would have to wait until another time, “Ralph is it?” he asked. The look in the man’s eyes when he realized that the Inquisitor knew his name was surprising. “What is the problem?”

 

“There’s a elf at the gate sir,” he answered. “White hair, strange markings on his skin, he’s demanding to see the Champion sir before he start...killing people sir.”

 

Riva turned back to Hawke who was swearing in Tevene under his breath. “I take it you know this elf?” he asked him.

 

Hawke rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. “Yeah, I do. That’s my husband, Fenris. I sort of...left him in the middle of the night with a note telling him what was going on. I didn’t think he’d actually track me down so quickly.”

 

“You left your husband in the middle of the night?” Riva scoffed. “You obviously have a death wish. First the Fade and now this.” The elf stood up and brushed his clothes off before helping Hawke to his feet. “Garret you can use my research room in the library to sort this out. I doubt you want your laundry aired in public. Alright, let's go sort out the homicidal elf.”

 

“Much appreciated Inquisitor,” Hawke smiled as he headed off in the other direction.

 

“Riva,” the elf corrected him on his way down the stairs. He trudged down to the main gate where a bit of a crowd gathered and there was shouting between the guards. Riva pressed his lips together and cleared his throat to put on his best commanding voice. “Okay everybody stop what you're doing!!!! There will be no killing or maiming of any kind.”  He walked through the crowd and stopped in front of the elf who looked so damn familiar. “You must be Fenris, I’m Rivaldir Lavellan, I can take you to Garrett.”

 

The elf looked slightly taken aback by the fact that Riva knew who he was and that he used Hawke’s actual name. “You’re not what I expected.”

 

Riva shrugged. “It happens a lot to be perfectly honest. Come on Master Fenris.”

 

“Fenris, please,” he corrected him, following the firey elf through the crowd and into the keep. “I received Varric’s letter a few weeks ago that Hawke was alive. I wanted to express my gratitude that you brought him back from the Fade. Selfish as it is, I am glad you didn’t choose him.”

 

“It wasn’t something that I chose lightly,” Riva confessed, moving through the main hall and in through a side door that lead him to the library. “Trust me, it plays on my mind but I will admit that I’m happy you actually you’re not here to kill me. I’ve read Varric’s books.” Fenris muttered under his breath about those damn books in Tevene which made the elf laugh. “Those books _are_ complete trash but I like reading them when Dorian’s in full research mode.”

 

“You speak Tevene?” Fenris asked, slightly surprised that a Dalish elf could understand him.

 

“I have an excellent teacher,” Riva grinned. Dorian had taken up teaching him a few phrases and some words in those rare moments alone. He was forever pestering the mage to teach him more of the language and in turn, Riva taught Dorian some elven. They came to the research room towards the back of the library and the Inquisitor knocked before letting himself in. “Garrett I have Fenris,” the elf spoke, spying Hawke sitting in his usual chair across from Dorian. The two appeared to be deep in conversation about something or someone, only to fall quiet when they heard him speak.

 

“And that is my cue to leave,” Dorian spoke up, standing from his seat and closing the book he had sitting in his lap. “Thank you for the conversation champion.”

 

In an instant it was almost like the air in the room shifted. Hawke jumped to his feet and moved to intercept Fenris before Riva even knew what was happening. “Fenris don’t!” the man damn near shouted. “He’s not what you think!”

 

Riva’s jaw dropped ever so slightly. “Oh...damn I forgot about that.” The elf had, after all, got the cliff notes version from Varric. Rive noticed the markings on the man’s skin glowing faint red and automatically raised the anchor, letting it spark as he ducked in front of Dorian, “Garrett, I’m sorry but if he hurts Dorian-”

 

“Who is very capable of defending himself, thank you very much!” Dorian objected as he watched the snarling elf. “But before I do so, can someone please tell me why a glowing elf wants to kill me and why you're going to use the anchor against him? Amatus?”

 

The tension in the room was so thick you could practically cut it with a knife. Fenris looked like he was ready to tear the heart out of the man the Inquisitor was protecting venomously. “Magister!” he eventually hissed out, starring over Hawke's shoulder, his hand itching for his sword.

 

“I am _not_ a magister,” Dorian seethed. “I'm an altus, yes I'm from Tevinter but that doesn't make me like _them_.” Talk about judging someone before you knew them. He nearly jumped when Riva reached back to take his hand in a subtle gesture that made his heart flutter.

 

Hawke spoke to the elf in a low tone, words passed between them that only they could understand and neither Inquisition members wanted to know. After a few tense moments, Fenris relaxed somewhat, but he still kept his sights on Dorian, Hawke sighed and turned to Riva, “we can finish our discussion later. Fenris will be staying with me.”

 

Riva nodded. “I’ll let Cullen and the others know.” He gripped Dorian’s hand tighter and practically dragged him out of the room, his hand still sparking and heart beating quickly in his chest. He only released Dorian’s hand when they got to a flight of stairs. “Sorry vhenan.”

 

“Don’t apologise, that was rather...interesting,” Dorian chuckled. He wrapped his arms around Riva and drew him close. “What else do you have going for you today?”

 

“War table meeting for most of the afternoon and I have to decide what to do with the wardens,” Riva sighed. He pressed a light kiss to Dorian’s cheek before he pulled back. “But in the meantime, I need to discuss with Josephine what the best course of action is. So if you’ll excuse me.”

 

“The Inquisitor's work is never done.”

 

* * *

 

In hindsight, having your head stuck in a book whilst you’re walking late at night is probably not the smartest idea in the world. Riva was busy reading a book on the Fade given to him by Solas as he was on his way to a requested meeting with Hawke about the Wardens. Whilst he may not have been a mage, the elf was still fascinated by the subject itself and could sit for hours listening to the apostate talk about the topic. It was a subject that his sister did not approve of especially the way Solas referred to demons as spirits. Thinking about his sister made him grimace and he lost his paragraph as well as his barings before he collided with someone.

 

Riva hit the floor with a yelp and look up to see Fenris standing there, this time without all his armor on. The elf had been here a week with Hawke but Riva had only ever seen him from a distance up until now. They seemed to stay there frozen in the spot staring at each other before Fenris offered his hand to the Inquisitor and helped him to his feet. “Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have had my head in the book whilst walking at the same time.”

 

The elf was silent, like he was judging everything about the young redhead from his hair down to his feet. “It’s strange...seeing someone so young performing feets such as yours. How old are you?”

 

Riva shrugged. “Twenty-one summers. Old enough to be considered a full member of my clan so old enough to fight a war. Had I not suffered the anchor, I still would have answered the call to fight.” He tilted his head and tucked the book under his arm, “I-um-this is awkward but thanks for not killing Dorian. I know you’re not...the biggest supporter of Tevinter but he means the world to me.”

 

“He’s from Tevinter, they enslave our kind, he would have had slaves,” Fenris reminded him. “How can you be with him knowing that?”

 

“Varric says you hate mages and yet there you are...married to one,” Riva pointed out. “And in answer to your question, I love Dorian, for all his snarky faults and egotistical attitude, he never asks for more than I can give and he looks after me.” He rubbed the back of his neck, desperate to get the attention off of himself. “Has Garrett spoken with you about what he wants to do with the Wardens? I have to announce my judgement soon so I just need to go over the final details with him.”

 

It appeared that the elf noticed the change of subject but went along with it anyway. “He has. I will be going with him to Weisshaupt.”

 

Riva guessed that there had to be more to that topic than Fenris was going to let on but he guess that it has something to do with the fact that Hawke had _left_ the warrior behind on some foolish quest to get himself killed. “If you’ll excuse me. We can talk later.” He bowed his head at Fenris before walking off, stopping once he got to the end of the corridor, Riva turned around to say something to the elf but frowned when he realized that he was gone. Varric’s description of the elf didn’t do him any kind of justice.

 

Riva knocked when he got to Hawke’s quarters and let himself in when the champion called out to him. He closed the door behind him and walked over to the balcony where Hawke was sitting flipping through various documents he had to have gotten from Josephine. “Getting ready to go to Weisshaupt?”

 

Hawke nodded. “Yeah. Just finalizing the last of the details for travel and sorting out all this bloody paperwork from your ambassador. It’s a nightmare.”

 

“I can finish it,” Riva shrugged. “Most of its my fault to begin with.” He sat down in the empty chair across from him and put the book in his lap before picking up a bit of paper with Dagna’s familiar scrawl on it. “Ah...she is relentless in wanting to know about side effects isn’t she?” he joked.

 

Hawke laughed. “I had to stop Fen from trying to shove her off the battlements when she asked for a sample of his lyrium markings.” He sat back in his chair and looked up at the clear blue sky. “Now, let’s go through what you want me to tell the Wardens. We’ll be leaving at the end of the week.”

 

Riva sighed, truthfully he didn’t want the champion to leave, it was nice to have someone else around that knew the hardships of having everyone rely on you for something. “Do you mind if I write to you?” the elf found himself asking.

 

Hawke chuckled. “You don’t have to ask Riva. I would welcome any letter from you. When the Inquisition is finished, perhaps you could deliver one yourself. I would welcome a new friend by my side.”

 

When the Inquisition is finished...now that was something that both excited Riva and frightened him at the same time...

**Author's Note:**

> Translation:  
> Halam'shivanas - The sweet sacrifice of duty 
> 
> Note: I do have Riva's entire journey laid out from start to finish...I will NOT let Trespasser destroy me...again


End file.
